Travelling is amazing but have you ever thought about how the people you left behind are feeling?
I’ve left home twice for long term travel and although I miss my family and friends back home, it’s hard to truly empathise with them when you’re living in your backpacker bubble. Last month, for the first time, I was the one left at home. I drove my Mum and Stepdad to Heathrow and watched them disappear in to the Departures Lounge. And it was hard. Much harder than I expected.
I wasn’t sure if I would cry but when I hugged my Mum goodbye, the tears were flowing so fast I could barely speak. Don’t get me wrong. I was excited for them to have this experience but I love having my family close to me. I know the world is a small place now but at that moment in the airport, I felt lost.
It’s a mixture of emotions. Jealousy, sadness, happiness. I would give anything to go on a long trip again. I almost think it’s harder when you know what they’re going to experience. I have so many happy memories of my trips and it’s incredible that my Mum and Stepdad are going to create these memories for themselves.
I’ve always suffered from fear of missing out. When I was away I felt sad that I was missing huge milestones in my friends’ lives. Now I’m home, I’m jealous of people who are still living that backpacker life. I want the best of both worlds. Is there such a thing?
Relationships change with distance. Life moves on.
Maybe I’m scared of how this relationship will change. I know things were different with my friends when I came home. Different isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it can be weird.
A month after that emotional goodbye in the airport and my life has continued as normal. I’m incredibly envious of the photos of their trip and being facetimed from New Zealand was amazing. I’ve had a couple of moments when I’ve forgotten that my Mum isn’t just a few miles away and then had that sinking feeling that I can’t just pop round and see her. Hopefully Stu and I will be able to see them at some point on their trip but we have nothing booked yet.
I know understand how my family felt when I was away and it’s hard to miss someone yet be filled with happiness that they’re seeing the world. Why can’t we all just travel constantly and meet up in exotic locations?
This has become a bit of a waffle but I hope I’ve managed to articulate my feelings. If you’d like to read about my Mum and Stepdad’s adventures then have a read of their travel blog here.